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A Pokemon Story – Part 4

05 Saturday Apr 2014

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Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

“Do you really think this is going to work?”  Frank asked me as we stood in the forest near a small shelter.  It was nothing special, a quick roof and three walls, with a hinged gate and hay floor, but hopefully it was enough.  More importantly, it was on our land, right near the cottage, and far from any major cities.  I pulled out Sawsbuck’s pokeball.  Katie, sitting beside me, sniffed at the ball curiously as I did so, her pale lavender ears twitching.

“I hope so.  We couldn’t really keep him in the city.”  I said as I let out the large deer pokemon.   He came out in a burst of light, and immediately started nuzzling me.  “Alright, alright,” I told the questing nose, producing an apple from my backpack.  “Here you go, Caesar.”   I immediately had to dodge his antlers as he bent to eat the apple.  Now in full bloom, his antlers were covered in soft velvet and delicate pink flowers.  I pet his head awkwardly.

“Alright, come here then,”  I said, walking towards the shelter with the nearly-gone apple.  He followed me obediently, even after the apple was gone.  “This is a shelter for you.”  I explained,  “We’re going to leave you up here so you don’t have to stay in your pokeball all the time.”  The look on his face immediately made me feel guilty.  I was never quite sure how much the pokemon understood, but they certainly seemed to understand a lot.

“Don’t look at me like that!  This is a much better spot for you.”  I said defensively.  “And we’ll come visit often.  But up here you have space to roam.”  Caesar nuzzled my shoulder, still looking sad.  I sighed.  We had spent the last 6 weeks teaching him to come when we whistled, but clearly I hadn’t thought through my clever plan that well.  I rubbed his head just behind the antlers.  “Well, we aren’t going to leave until tomorrow, maybe you’ll warm up to the idea.”

“Let’s go walk around the property.”  I suggested to my husband, walking back over to him and Katie.  Caesar followed behind me as we set off walking.

“Sure.”  He said, letting Jewel out of her pokeball too.  Jewel stretched her black and gold limbs, until she spotted Caesar following behind us.  She reared back, a low growl escaping as she stared him down.  The Sawsbuck snorted once, then proceeded to ignore the small Umbreon’s posturing.  Frank laughed and roughly mussed up her fur.  “Does she do that every time?”  He asked as she immediately began grooming herself.

“You know Jewel, simultaneously aggressive and terrified of everything.”  I pet the top of her head until she snapped around to try and bite me, snatching back my scarred hand with hard-earned reflexes.  “Stop that!  We’re going for a walk.  If you don’t behave, we’ll stick you in the cottage until we get back.”  Jewel glowered at me, but fell in beside Katie as we set off trail-blazing through the property.

“So, what’s with the sudden obsession with Pokemon, Alex?”  Frank asked as we walked along through the forest.  Thoughts ran through my head.  How does one explain that they just woke up one day and found themselves in a world that rightfully belonged in a videogame?  And that no one else seemed to find the shift strange?  I bit my lip as I tried to think of ways to avoid this.

“Well…  I like outdoors stuff…  And I need to find something to do when I’m not working, right?”  Frank looked suspicious.  “And…  I thought it’d be fun to try something new.  Google is hiring a new Pokemon Master this week.”  I said, trying to sound convincing.  He still looked unconvinced.  I blushed and stared straight ahead.  “Look, if I explain, do you promise you won’t think I’m crazy or something?”

“Of course not.”  I was always impressed at his ability to not call me crazy when I confessed to things I definitely found crazy.  No turning back now.

“A few weeks back, I sorta, kinda I woke up firmly believing that pokemon only existed in games.  And then Jewel bit me and was an Umbreon.”  I hesitated for a moment.  “I dunno, maybe it was just a really vivid dream, but I still feeling like pokemon shouldn’t really exist.”  I looked at him, not sure what I expected to see.  He mostly just looked confused.

“I’m not sure I get it.  Did we just, not have Jewel and Katie?”

“No, we had them, they were just cats.  Like, Persian, only smaller.  And without the coin.”  Frank still looked confused.

“I don’t get it.  You dreamed they were cats, and now you think they’re supposed to cats?”

“Yeah.  Like, they wasn’t any pokemon at all.  Just animals.”

“But if all the pokemon didn’t exist, why were there cats still?”  I frowned slightly.

“Still?  You mean, there’s still cats?”

“Yeah.  Do you really not remember”  He looked a little worried now.  I smiled slightly.

“I guess it’s because given the choice between a pet Eevee or a pet cat, I’d take a pet Eevee.  I’ve always really loved Eevee.”  I looked behind me at the crew of pokemon following us.  “I’ve always really loved pokemon.  Maybe one day I’ll get a cat though.”

“Not unless we get a bigger house.  I wonder why you had cats in your dream and not Eevees.”  Frank mused.

“Can you put a cat in a pokeball?  I bet that has something to do with it.”

“No, but there’s got to be more to it than that!  Wikipedia probably knows the difference between a pokemon and an animal.  I bet it’s something to do with genes.”  I smiled, and grabbed his hand in mine.

“Thanks for not thinking I’m crazy.”  He gave my hand a little squeeze.

“I dunno, I think there was something about this in our vows.”

“Hey, you’re already here, vow fulfilled!”  I said defensively.  He snorted, looking back at the Espeon and Umbreon following us, and the Sawsbuck following them.

“I’m not sure this was my first choice of magical lands.”  I squeezed his hand back.

“Well, maybe next time one of us wakes up in a videogame, it’ll be you in Dwarf Fortress.”

“Ooo, or maybe the Warhammer universe!”  He started singing a song about dwarves as we walked through the muddy forest, three pokemon in tow.

Witching Time

04 Friday Apr 2014

Posted by in Stories, Witching Time

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They feared her in the town below. Hilda knew this, as she could see the fear on their faces when she went into town to buy bread. Her bread never rose, it would always fall in the centre. Hilda suspected this was because the air wasn’t as damp up here than it was in the valley, but she knew what they thought in the village. She could hear their answer whispered behind closed shutters and concealing hands. Witch, they’d whisper, hiding their children behind their aprons.

Witch. She could hear it louder today as she walked through the village to buy some mint. It shrivelled and blackened near her home, shaded beneath the dense cedar trees and old pines, and the feral cats ate what survived. It preferred the sunny shores of the river that ran through the village, where it grew too plentiful even for the rats to eat. She frowned slightly at the farmer in the market, who recoiled from her coins as if they might poison him. “No charge for the lovely lady.” He insisted. “How could I charge for something so plentiful?” But his eyes spoke louder than his words. Witch.

That night they came to her house. The cats scurried away in their wake. Not the one or two visitors who came to her dead of night, cloaks held close to ward away prying eyes, begging for favours, but instead a small posse of men, wielding torches and makeshift weapons. One stepped forward to hammer the cottage door with his massive hand. “Come out Hilda! The children are sickening!” The door remained closed and dark. He beat the door again. “Get out here, girl! You’ll undo this curse you placed us under!” Still no answer was forthcoming. He beckoned the men closer as he hammered again. “Last chance, Witch! Come out or we’ll see you burned!”

The door caved easily beneath his boot as the men poured into the small cottage. They cast about for their prey in the single room, eyes alighting upon the empty bed, the cold hearth. Not a soul to be found but for the ones they brought with them. Feline eyes watched them leave the room from the roof. Such fear. Hilda thought as she watched them head back to town empty handed, the moonlight reflecting off long fur. They will never understand.

Man was such easy prey, these men did not look back once on their hike back to town. But of course, they need not fear the dark with their torches burning brightly, and most certainly did not fear the black-pointed cat that followed their trail, eyes burning brightly in the moonlight. As the men slipped away quietly to their houses, torches near extinguished, Hilda shadowed Jeb to his home. He was the initiator to tonight’s events, he was the one who stepped forward, and he was the one whose eyes told a different story. Anger, of course. And fear, as always, but not of Hilda. No, his eyes spoke of fear of loss. He was the one whose child had sickened.

The houses in town were built strong and large, meant to last generations. As Jeb entered the home, Hilda slipped through a window left open. The concerned voice of his wife drifted down the hallway, mixed with the disappointment in Jeb’s, but Hilda paid them no mind as she slipped into the child’s room. The boy coughed weakly as she jumped to his bed, her tail twitching. His eyes fluttered open, bright with fever as he reached towards the cat, small hand feebly petting the long soft fur. She purred reassuringly as she lay beside him, licking his forehead which tasted of salt, until the boy fell back asleep.

A pair of footstep fell through the house as the witch lay by the boy, ending with a creaking door. Quiet reassurances filtered through the thin walls, whispered under covers in the neighbouring room, before quiet fell upon the house. With a stretch, the cat padded softly through the house towards the kitchen. Tomorrow’s stew already simmered over the low fire as her feline nose sniffed, questing for the scents of rot and decay. An old leg of lamb was found, showing fresh cuts from yesterday’s meal, and the moonlight revealed to her what human eyes may miss, small footprints on the packed dirt floor as they led to a crack in the wall.

As the fire crackled beneath the old black pot, Hilda stood in the kitchen, a cat no longer, and considered. The leg of lamb disappeared into an apron pocket, to be replaced by two heads of garlic, and a large sprig of oregano and basil for the stew. From a different pocket, she produced the mint she’d bought at the market, now slightly crushed. Deftly wrapping it in a rag, it was packed in the crack, a box of potatoes wedged in front. Pleased with her work, she slipped out the back, the light of the full moon reflecting off flaxen hair. From the shadows of the house strolled a new cat, long haired and black as night, save for a white star on her forehead. Hilda knelt to greet her.

“Hello, Mother.” She whispered, brandishing the rotten lamb. “The rats have grown bold in my village again.” She tossed the lamb towards the river, where it landed in the tall weeds, the scent of mint rising off the ground. Bring the coven. Whispered as she disappeared into the grasses after it, black pointed tail a-swish. We will teach them to fear the scent of mint again.

read more…

A Pokemon Story – Part 3

02 Wednesday Apr 2014

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Part 2

I sat in the field, holding the Sawsbuck’s pokeball in my hands. My friend Steve sat beside me as we looked out onto the melting snow.

“So, you really think you can help me tame this Sawsbuck? It was sort of attacking me when I caught it, and I haven’t let it out since.” He laughed and tossed out a pokeball, which released a small, bouncing green pokemon that looked like it was encased in a bubble.

“If I can teach Saccharomyces to produce beer, I think I can help you stop a deer from attacking.” I stared at the Duosion.

“How did you teach him to produce beer?”

“Well, when they breed with an absence of oxygen, they create fermentation, so I had this sexy orgy of-“

“Nevermind, that’s enough.” I said, cutting him off. “Can Sacchar… whatever… stop this guy from charging? I brought Katie along too, just in case.”

“He shouldn’t attack us. I hope, at least.”

“You hope? I thought you’d caught wild pokemon before?” I twisted the ball in my hands. According to the internet, you could leave pokemon in there indefinitely, but it seemed a little cruel to me. I’d only caught the Sawsbuck yesterday and had figured I should let him out before he got really mad.

“Technically, I caught Saccharomyces wild, but it was in the lab, and she was young and friendly. I think she just wanted someone to take care of her. Most people don’t just go catching wild ones.”

“S’not my fault, he was trying to kill me!” Steve laughed.

“Alright, stop stalling, let’s see this beast.” I sighed and got to my feet, brushing the wet snow of my rear. As an extra precaution, I let Katie out of her pokeball too.

“Are you going to let Jewel out too?” Steve asked, getting to his feet. My fingers brushed her pokeball.

 

 

A Pokemon Story – Part 2

01 Tuesday Apr 2014

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Part 1

Last night when I went to bed, my life was spinning it’s wheels. No job, no plan, just sitting around hoping my cards would change. But today when I woke up, everything was different. Today when I woke up, my cats were pokemon, and according to my husband, that was normal. So today, things were going to change.

I quickly tossed on some clothes and headed towards the kitchen. Jewel and Katie nearly bowled me over trying to race me up the stairs. “Girls, calm down!” I said, petting Katie’s between her tall, lavender ears, just above the jewel on her forehead. “I’m not used to you guys being so tall.” Jewel, same as always, despite being turned into an Umbreon, just meowed at me to hurry up and put down some food. I ate an apple while the two tore into their food, then got curious and checked out my fish tank.

“Huh…” Well, they weren’t the same fish, that was for sure, but they didn’t look like any pokemon I knew of. Guess not everything was the same as the games. I decided it was time to turn to the internet for some quick research.

Some time later, Jewel strolled up at the computer, licking her lips and meowing. Still my talkative little one. “Come here, Jewel.” I said, palming her pokeball, “We’re going to see if we can help earn our keep.”

Katie was easy enough to round up, she came running when she heard the door open. She always had loved to go outside. She followed me in step as we headed to the meadow nearby. It was muddy, and snowdrifts still covered heaps of matted down winter grass, but it should still work. Katie began wandering immediately into it and I followed her. She still had the instincts of a cat, it seemed, but I wasn’t really sure what we were looking for.

A patch of grass wiggled off in the corner of my eye and Katie pounced on it faster than I could turn around. When I looked, a massive rat stood in front of her, with teeth as long as my fingers.

“Gah!!” I yelled, glancing around to see if anyone had spotted my reaction to my first live Raticate. “I mean… Um, Katie! Tackle it!” The commands came easier after that. I’d had years of experience, playing with cartoon versions safely behind a little glass screen. But when the Raticate stopped moving, I had my first glimpse of reality as Katie went to bite it’s head off.

“Katie! No!” I grabbed her by the scruff of her neck, hauling her off the fallen prey. She looked at me confusedly as I checked if the Raticate was still moving. Still breathing. Guess it had just fainted. I hauled Katie away a safe distance, then let Jewel out of her pokeball too. The two stared at me curiously, as if to ask “Now what?”

“Now… I don’t know girls. Maybe I’m just not violent enough to get into pokemon training. Let’s just go home.” We headed back, detouring along the spring-swollen river. Everything was covered in a layer of ice, thanks to the frequent thaws and snow squalls of the past week, but it was starting to look like spring was winning again. I bent over to pick up a stone, planning on breaking the layer of ice still hanging over the river, when I noticed Katie and Jewel’s ears were both upright, and both of them were staring at a point just behind me.

I turned slowly to see a majestic sight. A tall buck stood behind me, with a massive rack of antlers. His fur was tufted white about his neck, but I could see small pink flower buds covering his antlers, ready to bloom. My breath caught in my throat. I was new to this whole pokemon thing, but moose were dangerous, especially in spring. I slowly took a step backwards, hoping to show I was no threat.

The moose snorted and lowered his antlers, pawing the ground. Well fuck, that was clear body language. I started looking about for somewhere to run, when a blur of black and gold hit the Sawsbuck in the side.

“Jewel!” I cried, worried. The Sawsbuck reared, tossing her off. He turned to charge her, but stopped dead in his tracks, a glowing wall in front of Jewel. I looked beside me to see the jewel on Katie’s forehead glowing brightly. Jewel charged again, biting at the Sawsbuck’s legs and rear. “Good girls! Keep it up!” I quickly dove into my backpack, hunting for something to help. I needed some way to end this fight before the Sawsbuck got hurt, or worse, my babies. My hands closed around a spare pokeball. Perfect! Just one shot though, better make it count.

As I watched, Jewel bounced about the buck, harrying it’s flank like she’d done it all her life. Perhaps she had, given the way she chased Katie about the house at home. The Sawsbuck turned to chase her, stumbling slightly on his rear leg. That was my chance. I threw the pokeball hard, just as Katie let off a flash of light that left the buck disoriented. When the light faded from my eyes, I saw the pokeball on the ground as it shook once, then stood still with a click. I sighed a breath of relief.

“Okay girls, now we’re really going home.”

Back home, my husband was less than impressed with my conquest.

“Where are we going to keep a Sawsbuck? We don’t even have a backyard in this apartment.” He asked, staring at the pokeball in my hand.

“Well, I was thinking about that.” I said, “You know that property we bought up north?” He grunted in agreement. “How would you feel about starting our own Pokemon petting zoo?”

 Part 3

Drums of War #2 – Interactions

31 Monday Mar 2014

Posted by in Stories, The Drums of War

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Part 1

Keita curled her hand about her mug of ale and looked at the two men sitting across from her. The two men appeared to be polar opposites of each other, the one young and fair and the other old and rugged, but that didn’t stop the easy camaraderie between them. “So it’s a story you want then,” She began. “I suppose I can oblige.”

“You see, I am a member of the Ora tribe. My parents were amongst the Chosen whom wander about the Irati plains.” Lucien started slightly, though Turgis simply looked confused. Noticing the older man’s confusion, he explained.

“They’re barbarian tribes, Turgis. They roam about the plains in packs, killing off anyone they come across. The Crown’s Guard has been trying to stop them for years so we could settle the lands.” Keita glared daggers from steely grey eyes at the young prince. Turgis scoffed, interrupting Lucien’s rant before he gained steam.

“I think you’ve offended the lady. Please, continue with your story Keita.”

“As I was saying,” Keita began, still glaring at Lucien, “My parents were among the Chosen whom wander the plains, as our people have done for generations upon generations, defending our lands from those whom mean to take it.” Lucien muttered something under his breath about travellers and merchants, but Turgis fixed him with a glare of his own and he opted for a stubborn pout as Keita continued her story.

“Among the Chosen there is a tradition that when a child has come of age, they must set out on their own journey towards our sacred site. There, they will meet with the Elders of the Ora, and their destiny will be decided. Most do not return to their parent’s tribes after their journey.”

“Two months ago, I set out on my own journey to the sacred site. Our tribe was far from the site when I began, but the path is simple. The sacred site is at the head of the Medina river, which begins in the woods beyond the plains, but forks and flows throughout the plains. But when I arrived, there were no elders to greet me. Instead, there was a town wall and Avesta guards.” Keita focused her gaze on Lucien. “When I requested entry through the gates to visit the sacred site, the guards instead chose to open fire.” Lucien began to turn a brilliant shade of red.

“I brought down one man with my throwing knife, he was clearly not expecting me to fight back…” She smiled wickedly as her fingers traced a small blonde braid woven into her hair, “But then they opened the doors, and ten more men charged out at me. I…” She paused, biting her lip, “A stranger came running out of the gates behind them. He was armed with a bow and not dressed like a guard. With his help, I killed the rest, but he urged me to come with him to a small hut outside the gates.”

“As we walked, he explained that the town had been formed recently, under the order of the King. When the first of the Ora came asking permission to see the sacred site, they had let him in, but upon arriving at the river head, the man had flown into a fury, killing many villagers before he was killed himself. Since then, they had erected a fence, and turned away any Ora who came.”

“The stranger believed that the villagers had unknowingly destroyed what was once the sacred site but said that many others had died trying to turn away the journeying Oras. When he met the Elders while hunting, he had warned them not to go to the town. Instead, the Elders had scattered, each leaving in a different direction to seek an answer from the sacred sites of their ancestors. The oldest, Elder Rosenth, remained behind, hidden in the man’s hut. Alone, she was only able to give me part of my destiny. To reclaim our sacred grounds.”

Turgis turned to Lucien, cutting off the young man just as he opened his mouth. “Lucien, I believe I’ve won this bet, go buy the next round of drinks.” Lucien spluttered, his face having grown steadily redder and angrier for several minutes.

“What? No, Turgi-”

“Go.” Turgis forcefully pushed him out of the booth until both men were standing. “Before you do something stupid.” He said quietly. Lucien glared at the older man and whispered fiercely,

“You heard her, she killed several of my men. Those are good people in Avendale, and some traitor in the village helped!”

“She ran.” Turgis said firmly. “Now go get the drinks before you do something stupid like start a fight in neutral territory.” Lucien glowered at him before turning and pushing his way towards the bar. Keita smiled smugly at his back as Turgis sat back down.

“Now my dear, that is an interesting tale, but what brings you so far out this way? Cetrius is neutral grounds, the druids won’t take kindly to you building an army in this town.” Keita’s smile faded for slightly embarassed one.

“Ah well, it was only part of the destiny. Rosenth insisted I find the other six Elders to hear the rest of the destiny before taking action. One of them was headed this way.” Turgis smiled.

“You really have no idea how you’re going to take on a whole town, do you?” He asked. Keita blushed, making the scars along her cheek stand out sharply, and opened her mouth to say something angrily, when three mugs of beers plunked down on the table. Turgis grabbed one. “Welcome back, Lucien! I retract my question, Keita. Perhaps now would be a good time to move to lighter topics.” He smiled warmly at the two younger people’s perplexed looks.

To Be Continued

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Something Sad

30 Sunday Mar 2014

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Head in his hands, John stared at his desk below him. He remembered buying it with her, at an garage sale years ago. He could practically hear Julie beside him, trying to convince him that hiding under the ugly stain and worn wood was a beautiful piece of craftsmanship. He couldn’t really believe her then, but he could never resist her optimism, and plunked down the cash for the desk. He could still see her face, covered in sawdust and sunbeams, sanding away at the old stain for the next three weeks. His Julie. Now she was sitting in the most beautiful wooden box he could afford, thanks to him. It was all his fault.

He willed his eyes to look through the wood, into the drawer below him. There was a gun down there, a Glock .45. Julie hated it, but John had grown up around guns, and just felt better knowing it was there. Well, she had hated it… Maybe she still would hate it if she knew what John was thinking about doing with it. It would certainly be a nicer death than she’d had. His body shook as he thought about her last moments, stuck in a hospital bed with tubes and cords running everywhere. The glock would be a better death than he deserved.

Teardrops splattered on the cherry stained wood. John tried to will them away, but with little more success than he’d had trying to see through the wood. Julie would have known what to say, she always knew how to fix any situation. Except herself. Laying in the hospital after the crash, he’d tried to convince her that it was all going to turn out alright, that the doctors knew what they were doing. But she knew. His hand shook as he lowered it from his head, towards his lap. His hands curled around in familiarity, and palmed through the familiar motions as he drew the object up to the desktop.

“Hello, suicide helpline” rang out in a familiar voice from his cellphone.

“Hi.” John’s voice wavered. “I killed my wife.”

First Day of School

28 Friday Mar 2014

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“Man, I can’t believe they managed to set up a Wizarding school in this dump.” Jerrica complained as she and Stephanie watched the water crash around the bow of the ferry.

“What’s wrong with Atheleona’s WS? I think it’s really nice being this close to Toronto.” Stephanie asked as the school came into view. Located on Mugg’s Island, just beside Toronto Island, the city skyline was still clearly in view from the north coast of the small island.

“It’s just so… unimpressive! I hear in the UK, they have real castles as Wizarding schools, and not some poor excuse at a Victorian Mansion.” Jerrica huffed as the ferry pulled into a small wooden dock out of the woods on the sheltered side of the island, marked only by an unassuming statue of a lion.

Mrs Leibritz disembarked first, herding the first years behind her, and touched her wand to the statue. The statues eyes began to glow blue, and triggered a wake of other glowing eyes, outlining a path through the woods with a variety of different birds and animals. Stephanie gasped from the ferry deck along with the first years in their oversized robes, and the younger ones jostled each other to get a better look. Jerrica snorted and elbowed the girl.

“Come on Steph, you’ve seen this like, 4 times now. It’s just some fancy lights. Let’s go get our robes on.” Jerrica turned to head down to the lower deck, flouncing her bubblegum pink hair off her shoulders in a way that made half the boys on deck turn and watch.

Stephanie lingered behind, taking in another look at the slowly fading lights as the ferry moved on to the proper docks. It always sent a chill down her to remember that walk the first night through the woods, as all the statues followed her with their eyes. She was so mesmerized by them that she didn’t notice how far the group had wandered ahead, until she walked straight into an owl statue and realized all the other first years were far ahead and she was alone in the dark. She’d nearly panicked when she felt a cold shape touch her hand, but when she looked, it was one of the wolf statues. The statue looked at her, then cocked it’s head as if to say “They went that way.” She’d scurried away with barely a nod to say thank you.

Below deck, Jerrica was digging out her robes when Stephanie arrived.

“I hate these robes.” She complained, “You’d think they’d update them to something a little more fashionable this close to the city.”

“They did once.” Stephanie reminded her, “Haven’t you seen the old class pictures in the common room where they have all those feathers?”

“Yeah well… Maybe they should update them more than once every 5 centuries. They’re totally lame now.” Jerrica picked at the black robe distastefully. “At least we get to wear real clothes when we go to Wizardtown on the weekends.” Stephanie laughed.

“Well, maybe your birthday present will help.” She said, handing Jerrica a small package wrapped in gold. “Sorry I couldn’t get it to you sooner, but it’s practically impossible to get out of Smallville, Ontario.” Jerrica unwrapped the box to reveal a pair of glowing amethyst earrings. She let out a girly squeal.

“OMG Steph, they’re gorgeous!” She enthused, wrapping the smaller girl in a hug. Steph returned the hug excitedly.

“I’m so glad you like them! I got my sister Heather to help me enchant them.” Stephanie touched her own golden, star shaped studs. “If you hold them like this, I should be able to hear things you say, and vice versa. So like, Mr Gottfried can’t split us up in class any more for talking.” Jerrica giggled as she put on the purple earrings.

“This is gonna be the best year ever!”

Ear worms

28 Friday Mar 2014

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I woke up humming that tune again today. It’s the 4th day in a row and I still can’t remember the name of that song. Some days I think I remember the words, but not enough to Google. I don’t even know the name, but every night it’s playing in my dreams, like some theme song on a TV show.  It’s driving me crazy, I can’t get it out of my head.

But it’s not that bad.  On my way home from work, there was this cute girl on the bus. I think I fell in love with her a bit, she was reading my favourite book and I just wanted to talk to her, but I couldn’t think up what to say. We were almost at my stop when I realized she was humming the same song that’s been stuck in my head! I asked her what it was called, but she couldn’t remember either. But she gave me her number and said if I remember to call her, maybe.

Oh darn…

A Pokemon Story

26 Wednesday Mar 2014

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The mewling from beside the bed dragged me slowly towards consciousness.

“Jewel, be quiet.” I muttered, turning over and burying my head in the pillow. She just meowed louder, scratching at the bed. I shoved my hand out from under the covers to push her away. “Nooo, don’t scratch the bed…” Her soft head butted up against my hand for a few moments before she chomped down, grabbing my hand in her claws. I bolted awake, cursing about never learning when I looked down at her.

“Uh, Frank…” I nudged my husband awake, staring at the black fox-like creature with golden rings in it’s fur, happily chewing on my hand. “Why is Jewel an Umbreon?” My husband stirred awake.

“Because you couldn’t decide what to evolve her into before she evolved herself.” He stretched and started getting dressed. “A Leafeon may have been less evil, you know.”

“No, but…” My protests were cut off when I noticed her lavender sister, perched on the bookshelf and twitching her two tails. “And Katie’s an Espeon?”

“At least she’s not evil.” He replied, getting dressed for work. Jewel had given up eating my hand and was now licking it lovingly.

“Jewel’s not evil, she’s just- OUCH! JEWEL!!” I swatted her away as she resumed biting. “Okay, she’s evil. But… Wait… She’s supposed to be a cat!” Frank just stared at me.

“Shouldn’t you have bought a Meowth if you really wanted a cat pokemon?”

“I… No, that’s not what I meant…” I stared at the Umbreon now attacking my toes as the gears turned in my head. “Hey Sweetie, where do we keep their pokeballs?”

“They’re beside the door, on the bookshelf.” He gave me a goodbye kiss. “Try not to get them too hurt playing in the tall grass.”

Part 2

‘Murica

24 Monday Mar 2014

Posted by in Odds and Ends, Stories

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“Good moning, Mr Clinton! There’s some nice men here with latest poll results!” The secretary buzzed over the intercom. Clinton buzzed back.
“Good news or bad news?”
“Zzt- They said a bit of both, sir.” Clinton sighed and poured a bit more vodka into his morning coffee from a well hidden flask.
“Send them in, Monica.” He buzzed back. Monica came in a few seconds later, her brown hair tied back in a loose bun, wearing a tight sweater. His eyes lingered a moment before turning to look at the two men following her, both carrying a tightly rolled poster.

“Hello, Mr President.” The first one began, “We’ve accumulated the latest poll results regarding how satisfied the voters are with their president, and, well, the results are not that good. Would you like to see the graph?” Clinton nodded, sipping his coffee as he watched Monica help them set up the graph. The chart indeed did not look promising.

“Only 22%? That’s terrible!” He enthused, “I’ll have to get my marketing committee on this at once!” He turned to Monica, about to make a request when the second man spoke up.
“Sir, I’m Zach, the newest member of the marketing committee, and we’ve already been working on this problem.” Clinton turned to him.
“Good, what have you got?”
“Well sir, while you’re popular amongst the older crowd, it seems the predominant opinion among the young voters crowd is that, pardon my bluntness, too old and boring. We’ve been looking into what appeals to the young voters demographic, and we think we’ve created the perfect advert to boost your popularity.” The young man smiled at Monica as she helped him unroll his poster.

Clinton frowned slightly, then looked at the poster. It took his breath away.  It was him, only far more handsome, backdropped against the American flag, an automatic gun in each hand with the Statue of Liberty in the war-torn background.  It looked like a movie poster for an up-and-coming action blockbuster.
“I… It’s… Zach, what am I looking at?”

“Exciting, isn’t it?” The young man enthused. “We wanted to establish you as a proper American action hero, fighting for liberty and the American ideal! We also worked in some other things popular with the young crowd, as seen here and here.” He gestured towards the iconic golden arches, broken in the background, and the crocodile crawling at his feet. Clinton nodded, his eyes drawn to the shapely dark haired woman in a short grey dress, clinging to his leg in the poster.

“And who’s that? Why didn’t you include Hillary?” Zach looked a little sheepish.
“Well sir, you see, sex appeal helps generate interest, and Hillary just wasn’t appealing to the young crowd. The marketing committee decided to use someone younger for the advert.”
“I see.” Clinton said, sipping his coffee. “I’ll have to think about this, son. You can go now, I’ll let you know in a bit.” The two men thanked him, and hurried to clear the two posters and leave his office.

As the three left the office, Clinton spoke up again. “Monica, could you hold back a bit? I’d like your help to ah, clean up a bit.”